THINKING OUT LOUD

YOU HAD ME AT PICNIC BLANKET

I’ve officially lost all faith in single Sydney men. I never thought those words would come out of my mouth. It actually saddens me to say them. This is not to say there aren’t any great men in this city — I’m sure there are plenty. I’m just yet to find The One.

I don’t believe “The One” exists; I think there’s easily more than one person for everybody. With that being said, how sad is it to think I couldn’t hold down just one man in the past five years? For all my unlucky dating runs — the ones who I loved, but who couldn’t love me back, the ones who poured their hearts out to me, but I couldn’t return the favour, and the ones who were just blatantly incompatible — where was The One?

On a Sunday morning recently, in the midst of Sydney’s stunning Spring season, I opened my eyes and made a life-changing decision. I took fate into my own hands: I’m moving to Melbourne. Nothing, in particular, happened for me to make such a drastic decision. In fact, nothing was happening in my love life at all. It was steady, stagnate, non-existent. So it’s true, I’m predominately relocating cities for love. It’s almost tragic how life practically forced me to choose — to leave a city I know like the back of my hand for one I know nothing about. Once I made the decision though, it felt right.

All I needed was a few days in Melbourne to solidify my self-made fate, and boy did it ever.

Within a few hours of arriving, I was sipping away on a pre-relocation celebratory champers with Melbourne-based friends. Within two hours, and at least five champagnes down, I was approached by a local Melbournian. Super tall, baby blues, great hair and even better teeth (no exaggeration, I swear). “Hi, my name is Will. I saw you walk in earlier. Can I buy you a drink? I’d like to talk to you.” Hold your horses there, Melbourne. Let’s just take a minute here — what the hell just happened?

Prior to said weekend, my mediocre love life had got me thinking: I’ve been single for close to five years. Am I the problem? Are all my single, career-driven, intelligent, attractive, independent girlfriends the problem? Am I not Tinder-ing enough? Am I too open, too honest, too affectionate, too independent?

Let me answer these for you now, single ladies. No — none of the above. The problem (and Melbournians may agree), is Sydney. The suburb “bubbles”. The insular social circles. The online dating — oh, the online dating! The appreciation, excitement and heart flutters I once had for the “one new match” chime have now been replaced with animosity, nausea and spine chills. Single men of Sydney, what I would do for you to take a leaf out of Will’s book. Talk to me, talk to us.

If you’re wondering if Will was just intoxicated, filled with confidence from the numerous after-work drinks he’d consumed earlier, you’d be wrong. The next day, Will texted asking to meet me before my departure. I agreed and we met at a local park that afternoon. Awaiting his arrival, he texted to say he was running five minutes late — he had to swing by home to pick up a picnic blanket. So, there I was, day two of my decision-making weekend, enjoying the rare Melbourne sunshine, horizontal, with a handsome stranger.

 

Written and published exclusively for POPSUGAR.

1 thought on “YOU HAD ME AT PICNIC BLANKET”

  1. Sounds like an exciting move Simone! Enjoying following your journey and hope to read more, promising tales of your Melbourne life and dating.

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